


Room 93.

by whynotfour



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety trigger warning, F/M, Hidden Secrets, PTSD trigger warning, Past Relationships, all based on Halsey's 'Room 93' EP, and a lot of Bond inspiration, can sex take away feelings?, emotional spectrum takes a blow, probably not but don't tell Buck, triggers will be noted at the start of chapters too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-08 04:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4290774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whynotfour/pseuds/whynotfour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tragic hero and a fallen agent seek solace together, whether that's in the bedroom or on the battlefield neither cares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**"My ghost, where'd you go?**  
**I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me.**  
**My ghost, where'd you go?**  
**What happened to the soul that you used to be?"**  
**Halsey - Ghost - Room 93.**

Barnes’ eyes were fixed on the small screen that sat atop of the ancient dresser in the corner of their dingy motel room, paint peeling from its surround and an occasional wave of static failing to break his reserve as visions of those that he had wronged danced across his irises. A frown creased Scarlett's brow as she leant over to place a palm against his chest, finding his skin clammy beneath her touch despite the room’s current resemblance to a meat locker due to the broken AC pumping out cold air above them. It had been hours since they last spoke and his vague replies, clipped from the tightening of his throat as he felt the walls close in, swam in her mind as she restrained herself from speaking before he could reinitiate conversation – years spent in the field teaching her how to handle both her own demons and those of colleagues. The soldier was a shell of what he used to be; a ghost laying on top of the sheets next to her.

Reaching out to him through actions as opposed to words her body blended seamlessly into his, monitoring his reactions to her touch as she allowed her hair to cascade over the artificial arm in order to gain access to the splash of red against silver. Slowly she lowered her lips to the emblem of their previous employers, metal cold and unresponsive beneath the heat of her mouth despite the notable hitch of his breathing. Her legs shifted against his, hooking over one and sliding between it and the other to try and force him into making eye contact. Unsuccessful, she took to raking her nails down his chest with just enough force to leave a trail of red in their wake; drawing him further from his trance as she pressed the pads of her thumbs into the ridges of his hips.

His breathing became heavier, jaw falling slack as his lips parted beneath the blanket of three-day stubble that decorated the lower portion of his face – handsome even in the depths of his despair – mouth forming the shapes of words that he couldn’t pronounce. Holding her posture for half a dozen seconds and still failing to gain a verbal response, she allowed her lips to move across to the join between skin and metal – hovering above the wound until James’ fingers slipped through the locks of her hair to guide her away.

His hand moved to cup her face with an unfamiliar delicacy, eyes glistening with turmoil in the artificial light of the screen as hers moved to fix on his mouth which was now dancing around vowels to find those he considered to be justified. Heartbeats overlaid the definitive sound of silence until his echoing plea split through the air. “You shouldn’t help me. I’m a monster. I deserve this.”

It would break her heart to admit that his plea for solitude came as a relief but that was the truth pure and simple. Even at his lowest point, she still had hope for the man she had grown to love. For years she had watched other agents and handlers try to desensitise the Winter Soldier – thousands of hours being devoted to robbing James Barnes of his emotional responses – and yet here he was beside her, admitting something foreign to her profession; guilt. Through everything the man had still managed to conquer the machine and the incessant torture inflicted upon him by HYDRA.

“You aren’t the monster, James. Your actions didn’t belong to you,” tears had begun to spill from the corners of his eyes and her thumbs wiped them away without comment. “Nobody deserves this, least of all you. You’re a good man, Bucky. You always have been.”

Forcing his lungs to fill with oxygen, he felt like he was seeing her clearly for the first time since they ran from base – lines were buried into her skin from fear of the unknown, bruises still littering along her collarbones from the final fight and pain complimented her every movement. It was only now that James remembered her youth and how it was not he alone who was suffering at the organisations hands.

"We are going to get through this," he swore in a whisper, her eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed into his grip. "What they did can't define us."

They were a team - forced together by circumstance and staying that way due to choice - both damaged beyond repair but damned if they were going to let that stop them from seeking recovery. They had each other and in that moment that was more than enough.


	2. Chapter 2

  
**"I bet you kiss your knuckles.**  
**Right before they touch my cheek."**  
**Halsey - Trouble (Stripped) - Room 93.**  


The sound of fingers tapping against a keyboard was complimentary to the water falling heavy against the open glass of the room’s only window, the smell of rain contributing to the feelings of exhaustion that were swirling through the unconscious mind of the Winter Soldier as his companion focused on the task at hand. Scarlett’s attention was fixed on the laptop as she squinted at the amounting balances that spilled out over the screen, one side of a page of A4 filled by false aliases and a broken itinerary hashed out over the other. She was a vision of innocence pouring over the accounts – holding more than a passing resemblance to your average student in the way that she conducted herself without an audience – and unless you had an eye for espionage you would struggle to believe the illegality of her conduct. Wiring money from one fictitious account to another, she was sure to conceal their current location by hijacking the IP addresses of a few dozen unknowing citizens across the globe and Scarlett made sure to reward herself for this by taking another sip of her now cold coffee when the numbers pushed past the five digit mark; content that they would no longer have to commit petty crimes in order to maintain the simple luxuries that they had become accustomed to.

Soft murmurs from her sleeping companion ceased to echo throughout the room and her posture froze in response, glancing over to him in concern before Bucky simply flipped onto her side of the bed mumbling a combination of words that she had become accustomed to hearing ever since they made their break for the real world and in her dread she could just about decipher the name ‘Steve’ and a broken apology. It was then that she set the screen to one side, unused credit resurfacing beneath a name that nobody would dare to find beneath the shadows of her past.

Their travel options were admittedly limited as a result of needing to find their way as inconspicuously as possible and cross-country seemed like the only option when taking into account the Asset’s metal arm and the threat of manual security, thus ruling out such scribbles as _‘Agent 13 – The Winchester, London’_ in favour of _‘CB – The Mariner’._ Bile rose in her throat at the thought of reuniting with the usual crowd but before she could second guess herself she was drawing out a new list of requirements to get to the agent in question, noting the need for new identification for both her and her partner as well as the trivialities of costume.

The mission detailed to Barton was brief at best but gave them a twenty-eight hour window to make the drive up-state to what she knew to be an extravagant affair, the lap of luxury that usually saw her on the arm of a senior detective from the local precinct on an assignment to prevent the sale of classified information. Mapping out the hotel’s features and what she coud only assume to be his nest for the night, Scarlett took delight in the memory of her last mission and the assignment that saw her positioned there – reliving the moment she earned her stripes as the most-sought after member of the agency as she marked off Clint with an ‘x’.

“What time is it?” she was lost in reverence until he spoke in tones of gravel, eyes casting over the clock as she searched for a suitable response.

“Just pushing five.”

Groaning in response, James’ feet reluctantly pressed into the carpet before questioning in what could only be described as a voice of accusation, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

Simply earning a glare in response his hands rose in surrender, knocking back the blankets that concealed his body to stretch out the glitches in his spine. He knew that there was a mission to be set - after all they had been stationary for at least half a dozen days at this point and Scarlett refused to ever fall redundant - but regardless Barnes still felt content in the moment. Pressing his lips to her scalp, he swiped the mug of half empty coffee from the table (scowling at the bitter taste that she swore he would grow accustomed to) before finally trying to decipher her mission outline.

“Barton? The S.H.I.E.L.D. operative?” 

“He used to be an ally before all of this happened,” the uncertain gestures that accompanied her words highlighted their lack of intel on the subject and the urgent need to re-establish her links to base.

“How many HYDRA agents are currently watching him?”

“As of now, not as many as there should be,” there was a familiarity in the way she spoke about Barton and his potential, a smile curving at her lips at the thought of his capabilities. “That’s why we need to strike fast. It’s only a matter of time before his security is compromised.”

“I’m guessing you want there to be a minimum to causalities?”

“As long as Barton is out and we get away unscathed then I have no outstanding priorities of such. We take out any threats before they become apparent,” listing off the terms that came naturally to her, this was the first time that Scarlett’s authority came to play during their interactions and Barnes felt an emotion unfamiliar to him due to the conviction of her words; something others might call jealousy. “I’ll handle interpersonal relations so if you could-”

“Be your weapon. I’ve got it.”

“James-”

“That’s my purpose, Agent, and I’m happy to serve it,” his body became rigid, eyes narrowing as she let her pen fall against the table with a dull thud.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“I’m doing my job. I advise you do the same,”

“HYDRA fell, Bucky. We’re living in a new world order. This isn’t about completing missions anymore; it’s about foraging in the ruins to find a future. I suggest you get your priorities in order and stop acting on the premises of a childish crush,” speaking so harshly, she sounded like one of the drill sergeants from his past – gritting her teeth as she turned away. “Pack your things; we’re leaving in an hour.”

Scarlett had never treated him so dismissively before - compassion always the key element in her address of his situation - but the mention of a figure from her history managed to trigger something within her that was blatantly terrifying. Forced into silence James found himself thinking over everything that he knew of her, realising that this knowledge was worthless in the face of emotion and that she was right - they were falling into a new world order and for him she was the dominant force within it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly this chapter is more back-story than anything else but it is something that you'll need insight of in preparation for the next chapter which is why the tone varies so drastically from the first - Bucky definitely isn't the only one with issues! If you have any queries/comments, you can either leave them below or message me on Tumblr (whynotfour) and I'll be sure to get back to you. Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

In the moment they are blind to the significance of their exchange; failing to see the toxic undertones of their behaviour as it seeps through the layers of their dynamic to alter what is at its’ core. Whether by choice or circumstance they are ultimately ignorant to the mutation of their relationship and what a few thoughtless words hold in store for their future.

On Scarlett’s part she knows that the resurgence of certain figures can only lead to the destruction of whatever this is that she has managed to salvage for herself but it’s a double-edged blade because neither option offers her the salvation that she so desperately craves. Ultimately she will either have to surrender to the inner turmoil that keeps her awake at night by continuing on her quest of self-preservation or she will have turn her back on everything she has ever known in favour of co-dependency, a path which she is yet to tread. The only thing she is sure of is the impending threat to her situation and that terrifies her more than anything.

Barton represents every element of her past – the charred remains of a teenager caught up in the promise of a life of victory – and it is little short of irony that she must use Barnes to find her way back to him. Scarlett sees Bucky not as her future but as her redemption; someone who holds the potential to save her from the life that she has created for herself. There’s something in the way that he looks at her - trust and hope so evident in his eyes - that revokes the vows she once swore to herself and makes her picture a life full of stability at his side. Perhaps that’s why her reaction falls so firmly in the denial of his identity as a villain, struggling to find a way to assure him that he’s more than a mission objective while stumbling through a crisis of her own. In Scarlett’s mind he is the end to this way of life; in James’ own head he is a way to divulge further into it.

She struggles to voice this vulnerability with the tightness in her chest causing her to go mute at every attempt, instead devoting her energy to planning out the operation as she methodically counts out the remainder of their money into piles of two. Previous missions have taught Scarlett the expectations of the game and knowingly she sets aside a few hundred dollar bills ready to exchange with her contact in favour of identification and the keys to a ‘rented’ set of wheels as well as what she hopes will be enough to keep the woman on reception quiet about their stay. It’s all about practicality as she considers which stop will be the most beneficial to their cover, typing in the names of boutiques alongside a hotel reservation while James sulks around behind her. It’s an automated response to the situation as he works at removing all traces of their presence from the shell of a room and he amuses himself by counting the intervals in her breathing as she works at the table, freezing at the disruption of her ringtone as she lifts it to her ear after scanning the screen for a certain area code.

She pushes past him easily on her journey to the window, leaning out into the morning air as the caller launches into conversation and it isn’t until she realises that James is still stood rigid behind her that she turns to force him a smile. The sight of her feigning normality forces him to release the breath that has been burning against his lungs, returning the expression after a few moments of hesitance as he seeks the solace of a steady stream of water in the form of the motel’s shower; understanding that she must seek some illusion of privacy for the call’s duration. Retreating into his own mind it’s the thought of her voice breathless from pleasure that keeps him company, the image of her lips parted in desire that sends his heartrate into orbit as he lets his hands mimic the path that he has become so accustomed to hers following. He takes his time draining the tank of hot water, giving her ten, twenty, _twenty-five_ minutes to herself before remerging from the cloud of steam with a towel pulled tight around his waist; shaggy strands of damp hair framing his face as he looks down at her waiting for him on the corner of the mattress.

Scarlett’s lips are tinged red, swollen under the pressure of her teeth as she lets her eyes rake over him before speaking - “My contact is going to meet us near the hotel so we can change the car over but in the mean time we need to get ourselves dressed up for the night,” – lifting herself onto her knees, she lets her fingers cup his jaw as she continues – “Make sure that we both look the part.”

Her words hold no resemblance to those of their fight but her actions are guarded as her thumb glides against the stubble that’s decorating his jawline, kisses apologetic as she lets them fall against the column of his neck in a desperate attempt of affection. Regardless Bucky melts into her touch, believing in the exercise of compassion rather than her earlier use of discipline as he leans forward to straddle her hips – pushing her back into the mattress gently as he tries to get closer.

“How much time do we have?”

“All of the time in the world,” echoes Scarlett’s reply, fragile against his skin as Bucky catches her lips with his – aware of nothing but one another and the scars that they need to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit more of an affectionate chapter that will hopefully explain the last! As always, any thoughts/queries/opinions will be gladly accepted either here or on Tumblr. Hope you liked it!x

**Author's Note:**

> I've had the idea behind this series swimming through my mind for months on end now and am so excited to finally be able to share it with you. I would love to know what you think about it so far and you can do that by either writing a comment below or sending me an ask over on Tumblr (whynotfour). Thank you for reading x


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